Green Gashlycrumb: Awesome Things that Scarred Me for Life

Happy Halloween, hotties! It's the time of year for candy, costumes, and scary stories to keep you awake and raging all night.

I would like to share with you one of my favorite scary stories of all time. It scared to bejesus out of my when I was little and still turns my shoulders into earrings.

 That being said, I give you "The Green Ribbon"as read by some dude:

Alfred might have had a ribbon fetish

Perhaps you recognize the tale from In A Dark, Dark Room and Other Scary Stories, a book targeted at children in the1980's. What a fucked up decade.

Never Forget Jenny

Another interesting book from my childhood is The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey. Someone was awesome enough to set it to one of my favourite love songs, "My Body's a Zombie for You" by Dead Man's Bones... Pedo-Necrophilia at its finest.

That Gin'll Get Ya!

Pass these to your youngins as to continue the tradition of scarring children for life. Besooooos

Celebrate Halloweenie with Spoooooky Stories!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, everybody! H-A-double L-O-W-double E-N!

Neil Gaiman is also pretty into Halloween, so he's got a creepy short story he wrote available for free on audible.com! It is called "Click-Clack the Rattlebag" and it is excellent. Go here to download!

I'll admit that it takes a wee bit to make an account and download the audible software (which is also free) if you don't have it, but it's totally worth it.


And totally not internet-related, but one of my favorite Halloweenie books is The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury. Everybody should read it. Everybody.

Happy Halloweenie, internets! It may be Wednesday, but I still expect some drunken Samhain circles out of all of you!! (time to dust off my copy of the Necronomicon from the 10th grade! Yeehaw and praise the Underbelly of the Earthmother or something!!)

GWAR Goes Trick-or-Treating

You guys.

No, seriously. You guys.

This is the best thing that the internet has given us since Brooke Candy. And in internet time, that means that this is the most brilliant thing to appear in about 8 millenia.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the pleasure of experiencing Halloweenie with GWAR!

(I love you, Oderus. Throw me in the meat grinder sometime, okay?)

Peace, love, and Halloweenie, internets. 

What are y'all trick-or-treating/drinking copiously as?